Comfort Care and Quality of Life
What does Quality of Life mean for you? For a 98 year old, nearly blind, and unable to pee without a ‘stent’ in place, it’s being comfortably positioned in the warmth of her garden, with tissues and a cup of tea within reach. A proud woman, she doesn’t like calling her health aids ‘caregivers’ because it makes her sound needy. Instead, they’re companions and a chauffeur.
What does ‘Comfort’ mean to you? Sometimes comfort comes of small pleasures: a loving touch, soothing music. For the 80-year old wheelchair bound man, it’s stroking his cat and getting his feet massaged.
Comfort can take on a different meaning as life winds down: shortness of breath, skincare, dry mouth, constipation along with pain and anxiety. Ensuring these needs are known, and are met, can make the difference to both patient and caregiver.
My big brother, John, had the best possible end
My bro died at home, on Palliative/Hospice Care Although we did not know it at the time, my brother’s ‘end’ started November 2018, with a brain tumour diagnosis. Surgery before Christmas that year was deemed ‘successful’ and John was in such good physical shape that he was released early. He sailed through weeks of radiation and chemotherapy with few of the expected side effects. His only physical change was that he started wearing hats. Humour was his go-to modus to get through, the sillier the better. We cheered every picture he sent us, mugging for the camera: electrodes on his head or ridiculous hospital gowns, a ‘brain fart’ toy. the tumour came back with a vengeance In August, results of an MRI were devastating. From then until he died –almost a year to the date of diagnosis – the speed of his physical decline was shocking. It was his confused speech that led to the initial consult that led to the diagnosis, but – until August of 2019 – he was able to have a conversation, with words ‘filled in’ for him. When he lost that ability, he still hammed for visitors. His right side was the first to ‘go’, but he still made funny hand gestures with his left hand and jiggled in his seat when bouncy music played. His wife, Susan Teskey (herself a formidable producer/director) proved an amazing caregiver who also did her best to inject humour wherever possible: each piece of home care equipment was named and formally introduced. The commode, for example, was Clarence. The high top toilet seat, Harold. She made sure his...Ricky’s mother had a ‘good death’
Of the three siblings, Ricky – the sole daughter – was closest to her mother, Anna. “When my marriage ended, my kids and I lived with my mother. We all adored her.” In the last three years of her life Anna- who died at age 91 – was beset by Dementia. “It was more than memory loss – it was her wonderful personality that vanished.” In spite of the pain of her beloved mother disappearing, Ricky took care of her until the end.