living your best to the end

A mother, a daughter and Ovarian Cancer: “Love you so much.”

When Karen Greve Young gave me the hot-off-the press copy of ‘Love you so much: a shared memoir’ she explained: “Sometime into my mother’s treatment for ovarian cancer, we decided we wanted to do something meaningful.” Told by both daughter and mother, the title of their memoir is Victoria Zacheis Greve’s standard email sign-off. Email proves its worth in this memoir: over the four and a half years from diagnosis to death, email connected mother and daughter who were living half a world away, and email connected Karen with her father, brother, aunt and friends. These practical, poignant, personal exchanges offer a real picture of living under the cancer cloud. But they also show how life must go on, including falling in love, marriage, graduations, promotions, retirement, across-the-ocean and back travels, and infertility. In an example of the strength they drew from one another Vicki – whose survival strategy includes trying to be unfailingly positive and determined ­– writes Karen: “Keep up your spirits. If I can lick cancer, you can conceive a child….Love you so much.” Throughout the memoir love, support, respect, tenacity and humour ring true: Vicki addresses emails ‘Dear pushy little sister’ and, depending on the context, signs off as MOB (mother of the bride) and CA (co-author). Also shared is the grim reality: “All I want to do is to feel better and live to see my grandchildren – I truly don’t think either one is in the card for me. In the meantime, I’m trying to live as normally as possible with a deepening depression and flagging energy.” Karen’s correspondence, her narrative and the...